Collection of BANTERs I

These are collection of banters I collected over the years for fun and test them in the field.

If I wasn’t gay, we would have such beautiful children. Seriously, imagine how cute our kids would be.
* Science tells us that we only use 10% of our brains ... but you're taking it too far!

"whoa! do you kiss your mother with that mouth...?"

Whenever she is taking too long doing something I say "hurry up, chop chop"

"If you were any slower you would be going backwards in time"

(said in a very condescending tone) It's OK, don't worry- the truth will set you free...
It's alright, admitting it is the 1st step

Her: don't I know you from someplace?
PUA: Yeah that why I stopped going?
Her: So, what do you do for a living?
PUA: I'm a male impersonator.
Her: Is this seat empty?
PUA: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Her: Your body is like a temple.
PUA: Sorry, there are no services today. Leads nicely into SP routine

her: (whine)
me (teasing, playful c/f): Oooh, someone call the guards, Princess isn't happy...did Princess (insert anything) last night?

Stop it… You’re looking at me like a fat kid looks at a cheeseburger.
You’re getting me all emotional… I promised my friends I wouldn’t go home with anyone tonight.
You guys are bad girls. I have to watch out for you.
You guys are trouble.
You’re cool, you can help me pick up chicks.

Why are girls always so logical? Why can’t they just FEEL and be in the moment?
Are you drunk or are you just like that?
Did you forget to take your medication today?
We’d never get along, we’re too similar. I’d never take your shit and you’d never take mine.
You know, we would fight all the time. And I’d win.
This place is such a meat market. I hate how the girls look at me here; like
I’m a piece of meat.
You’re like my little sister. Lovable, but a little annoying.
I used to be too modest, but I worked at it and now I’m perfect.
You guys are making me feel uncomfortable.
You’re bad. You’re making me think impure thoughts.
You’re a shy girl aren’t you? You guys gotta get her out more.
I’m going to take you home in my little pocket and ask my roommates if I can keep you. Wait, are you housebroken?
You usually hang out at the library don’t you?

Am I your dream come true?
I don't know yet. Go and stand in the road with your eyes closed, and we'll see.

Are your legs tired? You've been running through my mind all day.
Yeh - I was looking for a brain cell.

Do you believe in magic?
I used to, until I realised I can't make you disappear

Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
No. It was just bad luck.

God ordered me to come to you.
What's He up to? That's the fifth one this week. I've sent all the others back.

I could make you the happiest woman on earth.
Why, are you about to go into space?

I think I could make you very happy.
Why, are you leaving?

I'd go through anything for you.
Great, the exit's just over there.

I'd go to the ends of the world for you.
Yes, but would you stay there?

(When a conversation has progressed I stop half way through her sentence in a playful manner)
Do you know what? We've talking now for 20 minutes and all you have done is talk about yourself.

(when a girl doesn't get your joke say this very quickly - it takes them a few seconds to process the sentence)
He who laughs last thinks the slowest

"Do you need a few more minutes? I can always come back..."

*She makes smart ass comment*
You say - "Shut it sister!"
"Run along now - this is man conversation..."

good reply for a shit test... "looks like someone put their crankypants on this morning"

Are you rich, because I want to be a stay-at-home husband?

When she throws, drops something or especially when you "accidentally" bump into her... (smiling) "Jesus! I could've been killed!"

Her: ...why u always being mean to me...?
Me: ...I'm sorry did you say something - (playfully)
Her: ...I hate U...!
Me: ...Oh, so it's a love hate kinda thing huhh...?

if a guy tries to butt in:
"hey! is this your boyfriend?" say it in either a totally innocent way or a smartass way, she almost always laughs. this ones a killer for getting her to laugh out loud in the other guy's face.
-girls complain alot about creepy guys. when she tells me something that one of them did i say "oh! that's special!" in an overly sincere way, like i'm congratulating her or something. i also use "lucky you!" in that same tone.
-if she is giving you the dirt on her friends:
“…let me guess you were the youngest in the family?”
[response]
“…because you tattle…”

- Have you been drinking again?
- You must've driven your parents crazy
- What kind of trouble have you been up to?
- Your last boyfriend must've hated that about you
- You got a fat chick personality
- Are you at least rich?
- You're fucking up my Fung Shui (whenver she touches or moves your property)
- I need a quick female opinion on something… assuming you guys are really females, and not just really cute cross dressers. (Yes, this has been field tested)

Suggesting Her Interest

- Did you come over here just to flirt with me
- Stop undressing me with your eyes
- Don't get you hopes up. I'm not easy
- I don't think my girlfriend would like it that you're hitting on me
- Stop trying to impress me
- Stop trying to make me jealous (whenever talking about other guys)
- Are you always like this, or just with guys you're attracted to?
- You better be getting back to your friends before they realize you're over here flirting with me. But before you go... (awsome time constraint)